?

Log in

[sticky post] Reading Challenge 2015

I decided to track what I read this year so this challenge looked fun to me. There are 52 books (count the trilogy as 3), for 52 weeks of a year.

Read more...Collapse )

Tags:

12.27.2016

my hands were shaking for minutes when I opened SmaSma Dec 26 file. I was at a lobby of a mechanics shop, waiting for my car oil change. I chose to watch it piece by piece, in the lobby, at my work desk during lunch time, so I can't cry out as easy as I would.
but none seems to work.

but new year may not be bad, since I'm waiting. for SMAP's true words. 

November already?

for the first time in like 10 years, I want time to stop right here. December doesn't need to come.

impossible but the fangirl in myself keep repeating it's okay. it's okay. it's okay. there isn't enndless party. but as long as I don't stop supporting them, as long as I claim myself a smappy, no other thing really matter.

*sigh*
fangirl illusion. can't help though. 

Iokibe-san xxxD



*flying hearts* so sad I finished the whole series. where can I find Iokibe-san now?

this is the first time after so long I fell for a character not played by SMAP, Masha or Abe-san. Odagiri Joe isn't a new name but his Iokibe is really interesting. let's say I fall for Iokibe. the last time I felt this way, was it YamaPi's Kenzou?

of course Iokibe and Kenzou are totally different, but they are imperfectly perfect. 

Tags:

SMAP turns 25 today.

my smappy age is turning 7. SMAP is the one and only companion I have left. from my late teen to my whole 20s. I took for granted the fact that SMAP is there. SMAP is always there. this year starts off rough and it gets worse with news and no actual words from SMAP.

but whatever will happen, I will keep counting my smappy age. after all I don't have that many dear things remain.
SMAP is the dearest.

Tags:

08.22.2016

I don't think I'm ready to talk about the disband news that flowing around. I checked SCS like 100 times a day a so. I was scared and upset. deeply upset. sad. not happy. hurt. I guess I felt hurt the first time because of SMAP was January 2016, that live apology. However, as I try to calm myself (and wait for SMAP's unscripted words), I want to stop my negative thoughts, including blaming J&A or hatred toward others.

It's hard to do and I also need to concentrate in my paper. There wouldn't be much free time for SMAP or other waste time activites. my real life has been a mess recently. I try to fix thing but nothing goes right at all. I don't know how long I can keep up, or if I even want to. but nothing else seems to be better choice.

I don't talk to people in fandom since couple years ago. so it's not like I'm sad and we are sad together. we won't be able to share interest anymore. people around me now don't know Japanese or have any interest in Japanese entertainment. I doubt they even know I love SMAP or listen to Japanese music. but it's okay since I know nothing about them (and I have no desire to get to know them better).

I think I'm okay. even if SMAP ends their journey together in 2016, SMAP would remain as the one and only SMAP in my heart. it's hard for me to love and keep that love, SMAP is a rare case, the one and only. I have SMAP for my late teenages and early twenty. I don't want to give up hope, but I'm pessimistic by natural. I'm at loss of words, and have mixed feelings, and in between denial and hopeful. I'm full of contradictions.
...
tomorrow is another day. if I keep thinking negatively, nothing positive will come. (Original smile's lyrics, I don't know if I can be positive but I will try. because SMAP sings so.)

a SMAP a day

SMAP with Shizuka Kudo NG, age ago.




Since I ship KimuraMatsu, I didn't really like Mrs. Captain before (ehem), but watching her on English learning program, I started to see her charm lol still I love KimuraMatsu on screen sooooo much, but I'm glad Captain has his family. I wish the rest of SMAP will annouce marriage sooooon. Shingo said he would tie a knot next month couple days ago, right??? :))

Tags:

a SMAP a day

Passed by Sekai no Owari, their music is interesting, and I thought I saw that clown somewhere already. I did some Google search and of course they came to SmaSma (dear, I miss normal SmaSma so much, I didn't watch it in the regular basis but I checked out ES once in a while. F!@#$% you, Johnnys Associates!!!)

Anyway, the old bistro. Is it a rare case that SMAP won in quiz with guest? I don't know Japanese but it looked like the questions were most memoriable program - SMAP answered FNS27; something about song? the representative song? - SHAKE, Original Smile, Crazy 5, Celery; first perf? - a program with Wa in 1988; the celebrity they've met/worked with? - MJ, of course. MJ only came to onle variety show in Japan and it was SmaSma.

The only thing I don't like about this segment is that Nakai didn't get a chance to answer.

Tags:

summer, again

It's almost the end of July and I just found out I had never published this entry. Oops!!
~~~
It's June. already.
I feel like I'm still staying at the same position while everyone else has moved to their adult life, with real job. I'm not complaining since I chose this life, apparently. I just wonder whether because of that, I drifted apart with many many friends.

anyway. it is summer. I just came back from a 6-day trip to California. for my best friend (in middle school)'s weeding. it was strange that beside her family, I've known her the longest among the guests, but I didn't know much about her in the present. it was kind of weird experience. but I'm glad I was there. maybe there aren't anymore chances to meet again like that.

the weeding took 1 day, so the rest of the time I ate, ate, and ate with my siblings. it was fun. one day I wandered around a Japanese grocery store in Costa Mesa and I saw a place that sells and rents DVDs. there are separate shelves dedicated for SMAP's drama, and SMAP shows. of course there isn't English sub.







I doubt this is official DVD but either way, I was lost in that store.

and the other day while looking around in a gift shop that sells Japanese goods, they played one of SMAP song. I forgot the name, but it was one of Tsuyopon's newer dama theme song (after 2010 is considered newer to me).

California was really really nice, with delicious Asian foods. but there are way too many people too. I don't think I would like to move back, a visit once in a while is good enough to me. 

summer, again

It's June. already.
I feel like I'm still staying at the same position while everyone else has moved to their adult life, with real job. I'm not complaining since I chose this life, apparently. I just wonder whether because of that, I drifted apart with many many friends.

anyway. it is summer. I just came back from a 6-day trip to California. for my best friend (in middle school)'s weeding. it was strange that beside her family, I've known her the longest among the guests, but I didn't know much about her in the present. it was kind of weird experience. but I'm glad I was there. maybe there aren't anymore chances to meet again like that.

the weeding took 1 day, so the rest of the time I ate, ate, and ate with my siblings. it was fun. one day I wandered around a Japanese grocery store in Costa Mesa and I saw a place that sells and rents DVDs. there are separate shelves dedicated for SMAP's drama, and SMAP shows. of course there isn't English sub.







I doubt this is official DVD but either way, I was lost in that store.

and the other day while looking around in a gift shop that sells Japanese goods, they played one of SMAP song. I forgot the name, but it was one of Tsuyopon's newer dama theme song (after 2010 is considered newer to me).

California was really really nice, with delicious Asian foods. but there are way too many people too. I don't think I would like to move back, a visit once in a while is good enough.